I know not.
I know nothing of this Merida, except that she is a princess.
But being a princess alone is not enough to be one of the Disney Princesses ™. I’ll refer you to the “Dissed By Disney” rant I wrote back in February if you seek a “for instance”.
Merida is the princess of a kingdom ruled by King Fergus and Queen Elinor. An unruly daughter and an accomplished archer, Merida one day defies a sacred custom of the land and inadvertently brings turmoil to the kingdom.
In an attempt to set things right, Merida seeks out an eccentric old Wise Woman and is granted an ill-fated wish.
Now you know as much as I do.
So if Merida wishes to enter to Royal Disney Clique, all she really needs is two major things:
1. Box office numbers. Pixar’s track record for telling great stories, kinda makes this a given.
While “Cars 2” is being considered a “not great” sequel, the “not greatness” of it is being pinned on Disney’s record with sequels rather than Pixar’s record with stories. Many of the complaints I’ve heard (none of which came from true-blue Disney fans) were that this was expected when Pixar married itself to Disney.
2. She needs to get herself a man. Unmarried princesses don’t make the cut.
After doing some research, a.k.a. racking my brains, the only Disney Princess that makes the husband factor an open question is Pocahontas. Clearly she does not marry John Smith, in fact, in “Pocahontas II” she dumps that fool in favor of John Rolfe (in a very transparent effort for Disney to be at least a little historically accurate).
At the end of that movie, she’s seen sailing off into the sunset with Rolfe. Historically, Pocahontas does marry John Rolfe, which, to me, makes her as much his wife as original Greek mythology makes Meg (Megara) from “Hercules” a princess, so there you go.
But I digress…
So assuming Merida fits the requirements of the Disney Princess line, the question is, where in the Disneyland Resort will she fit in?
Yes, she’s digital like Rapunzel, but she’s a Pixar character. Rapunzel is pure Disney magic and doesn’t stand under the Pixar banner, so I wonder what the deal is going to be, don’t you?
Seeing as Pixar has dug itself into Disney’s California Adventure Park like P.T. Flea, it begs the question. Will Merida rule DCA alone, single and proud, or will she buckle to social convention, hook up with some dude and join the Princess club in Disneyland?
I mean, Pixar Princesses Atta and Dot are nowhere near the Disney Princesses.
They’re ants though– they’d get Raid in the face or squished.
I’m pretty sure that Mulan can’t take that cricket anywhere near Cinderella, though it’s perfectly okay for Cinderella to hang out with rats. Hypocrite.
Disney/Pixar’s “Brave” won’t hit theaters until summer next year. That’s a whole year for them to figure it out, if they haven’t figured it out already.
All we can do is wonder.
Of course if “Brave” sucks, we’re talking about nothing here.